Here's my boy. My only son. I never dreamed I'd have a son with a goatee kind of thing over his chin, and a 24k white gold stud in his ear, and a UFC hat on his head. It's probably a good thing you can't see his Grateful Dead tee-shirt under the leather coat he received for his birthday.
He's teaching me lots of lessons. Like when moms with long fur coats, and equally long nails, ask me what college my son has chosen? I don't slap them any more. I just shrug, and smile, and say, "He's undecided."
He doesn't like school. He calls it "ridiculous." In many ways, he has a point. It's become antiquated, and full of busy work, and it's hard to see how Algebra 2 applies to anything in real life. So, he may graduate this June. Or, he may not. His ACT is almost ten points higher than mine was; he's not dumb. He's just undecided.
But, I've decided something. I'm not going to worry. I'm not going to nag. I'm not going to wring my hands in despair about a future none of us can see. I'm trusting God for my son. I'm waiting to see what they'll do together.
I think at some point we all have to give up a little trust to God when it comes to our kids! You can only do so much! Myself, I haven't released the control yet from my kids, but they are a bit younger. However, my 9 year old, whose IQ is off the charts, claims school to be a waste of his time. He scares the daylights out of me.
ReplyDeleteI like this meme. You never know what you are going to get!
See? I think the smarter kids are, the more they dislike school. It's so confining to them. I liked this meme, too, because it's fun to get a glimpse into everyone's life.
ReplyDeleteI have son like yours, he is a bit older. He also quit school, he became terribly bored. Today he is doing wonderfully and is happy, he is a chef in a nice Philadelphia restaurant and loves it besides makning a great living with insurance and all. I long ago gave up on the snobism of "What college are you sending your son to". It was simple with Mark, I trusted him to do the right thing.
ReplyDeleteYou are a fantastic mom, Meredith with a great son.
Madeleine, that's so funny that you say your son is a chef! My son took Senior Foods, which could be a 'blow off' class, and he loved it! The teacher brought in all kinds of chefs from Chicago every week, besides teaching the students how to cook, and he's very inspired. I would love it if he'd pick that career. Or, teaching, of course. You help encourage me, and I thank you for that.
ReplyDeleteGood looking guy--if I were ten years younger... LOL. :) I'm a worrier by nature, so I know how difficult it is to sit back and let everything take its course. My husband is 29 and still undecided. And most days it makes me want to scream. But I try to simply be supportive.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful boy. And you are absolutely right. There comes a time when you just have to trust him - and yourself.
ReplyDeleteTrust you did the best job you could, and your child needs to do whatever it is that makes him happy. And if your child is happy, you can be happy, and that is all that matters.
Amen to to that! Your son is so cute :) My son is 23 now and he went through some rough years right out of high school. I just had to turn him over to the Lord...I prayed a lot...he drove me crazy a lot...but now my son is so amazing and all grown up. He became a wonderful, responsible, focused young man. I'm so proud of him and I thank God for everything he's done. I found an old prayer journal recently where I was writing about how worried I was for my son and asking God to bring him through safely and that he would figure out what he wants to do and be happy. I realized in that moment, wow, God really did answer my prayers. It was awesome!I think it takes boys longer than girls to figure things out :) All we really want is for our kids to be happy in whatever they do. God will take care of him, and I'm sure deep down in his core he's a fabulous young man....after all, you raised him and I think you seem pretty fabulous yourself :)
ReplyDeleteHave a beautiful weekend!
What a good looking young man! I wish he was closer - I have an unattached niece... but I think she's a bit older.
ReplyDeleteI'm with the others. You've done an amazing job and now it's up to him. He'll sort it out.
cjh
I can call you a progressive mother. Because there are these people, who seems to live their own lives through their children and such. Others are snobs and third parties won't get their rocks off unless they play God and turn their children intop something and then claim appraise.
ReplyDeleteHe is a smart and good looking one, so he will definitely will charm his way through the world, plus I like his hear shorter and the goatee is super cool. :) Don't worry.
Yay! Thanks for playing, Bellezza! This is a lovely shot. I like the lighting. Looks like it was shot during the "golden hour" of the evening.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you've gotten to a place where you can relax and let life lead him wherever he may go. Sounds like cooking school might be a good option! I wonder if he'd consider it. Might be nice to have a goal to work toward.
BTW, I never got a college degree. Only went for a semester before getting married. Returned later and took all the classes that appealed to me, but still no degree. And now I'm in my dream job! Go figure. :)
Trish, my first husband was undecided well into his thirties. He had a double major in sociology and psychology, with the intention of getting a degree from a divinity school so he could be a pastor. That never worked out, due to financial reasons, so he went into the Army. When he saw how much I loved teaching, he got his teaching certificate, too, and I think he was a better teacher than I while he was alive. It's funny, he would call himself "Leo, The Late Bloomer" after that childhood book, and I think that some guys are just like that. Bless you for your patience with your man.
ReplyDeleteQugrainne, you're right I've done all I've could, and you're right that I want him to be happy. That's much more important than "successful" (however that's defined these days!). I'm learning to hand off the responsiblity to him.
Chic Geek, I love hearing from mothers who have had everything work out with their own children. It's such a relief to know that High School doesn't last forever. And, thanks for the sweet compliment at the end of your comment.
CJ, I guess he'll have to sort it out, one way or another. It's hard for me to wait because I'm very "let's-solve-any-problem-now", and our town is so very competetive. I wish people would quit askimg me what college he's chosen...
Daydream, as usual you have a very astute point: parents turning their children into whom they want, and all to look for praise. That's not fair to the child, and it's certainly prideful of the parent to say the least. I don't care what he becomes, as so much as he finds his joy and purpose. You're right, he's definitely a charmer. He can talk to anyone, and usually does. He's also funny as Hell. He had our limo driver (and me in the back) in stitches on our last trip to the airport.
Lesley, I took this photo at the same time that I took the header for the blog: at sunset by the Naples' Pier. I liked the lighting, too, but when I print this picture his face looks orange! I think in many cases, certainly in this era, college is a parent paid trip for their kids to smoke, drink and screw. I'm not in any way saying that college is the answer. Neither my father nor my husband have their degrees, and they're very happy/successful. I needed college for my teaching certificate, but believe me, there are many, many days I'd give anything to work in a bookstore~! Wouldn't that be fun if he took up cooking? You all could share recipes, and I could enjoy them. ;)
"I'm trusting God for my son. I'm waiting to see what they'll do together."
ReplyDeleteThe wait will be worth it; you'll see.
Your son is very handsome. I think he will go far because in this one picture you can see a young man who is content and knows he is loved by you and God. Happy future endeavors with him:)
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, always.
ReplyDeleteWhat a handsome guy! I'm sure God has a plan, but sometimes it's hard for us Moms to step back and trust him to carry it out....
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely post. As parents, we give them love and security. The absolute best we can do is to produce a child who has a good heart...what paths they choose are theirs. It sounds like you have done a tremendous job with your son and for that, KUDOS! I applaud you!
ReplyDeleteWe need to talk more about motherhood, privately. I've got exactly the same situation, here. My son is just blase about school. He has gone through a string of control-freak teachers who are looking to flunk people because they're convinced that their job is to "weed out" poor students, not get as many as possible to graduate.
ReplyDeleteMy son got a zero on a paper he worked hard to complete and turned in, for not handwriting it. That's the excuse, anyway -- the teacher then told my husband that she was trying to get our son's attention because he sometimes sleeps in class. So, the question I know these kids ask themselves is, "Why put out the effort if you're not even going to get credit for your work?"
I misplaced your email because I'm an airhead, so let me also add that FEW EGGS & NO ORANGES (or is it few oranges and no . . . I can never remember the title) arrived safely! Thank you, again!!!
Bookfool, yeah! You have the book for Lent!!! Well, the best laid plans; I'm sorry it didn't arrive for the Christmas Book Bloggers' Swap. And, about sons, they must be going to the same high school. I find teachers absolutely absurd, which is why I became one: to try to deflect the absurdity. The only good thing is that they're learning how to deal with adults in the real world through their awful teachers. It's comforting to know things are the same nationwide. Sort of. ;)
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful looking young man with a wonderful mother. I'm a strong believer in prayer. My husband and I have watched our foster son bloom into a fine young man who went from being a teen drug user to a responsible and loving married soon-to-be dad who now directs his ferocious energy into his job and his music projects. We also continue to pray for my adult step-daughter who thwarts every attempt to help her and defy every prayer we offer up to heaven. I'm learning that ALL things are in God's hands.
ReplyDelete"I'm trusting God for my son."
ReplyDeleteThough this can take some serious effort at times, it really is the very best thing to do and the wisest course of action. Especially since we know that He loves our children even more than we do, as unfathomable as that may seem sometimes.
I trust you'll look back on these years at some point and be able to see a long trail of God's faithfulness to you and your son and all that you go through now will be well worth it.
Your last two lines say it all, Bellezza. And, you have a beautiful boy there.
ReplyDelete